God-Growing

God-Growing

"Mamma you are done growing [taller] but still God-growing", says my son a few weeks back.  My child certainly has the ability to make statements that make me take a step back, pause, and reflect.

Part of my life has been "I want to be like that!"  I saw the faith of others through their words and actions.  I heard stories of hope and miracles, and longed for that close relationship with Jesus.  But, how? What do I need to do?

In reflection, I have been taking those steps, and God has been moving and shaping me, even though I may not have consciously realized it.  It has happened through my husband's love and steadfastness in his relationship with God in our life together, Church, those around me and in my life, events that occur, and daily bible study.

This current journey of life has seemed to speed up the process, exponentially.  It has been incredibly difficult to be honest, but I have also felt moments of being at peace.   I just let go of the control, the me-focus, because I realized that I did not have control over this anyways.  I focused on prayer; talking to God.  Prayer has changed me, creating that deeper relationship that I so desired.

Yesterday, my husband tried a speaking valve through the tracheotomy.  I heard 6 beautiful words: "Hello, Hello, I Love you, Good-bye" (He said "Good-bye" instead of "Talk to you later" - it was less words!).  The respiratory therapist was impressed that Wayne created a real voice, instead of the usual robotic-sounding tone that can come out the first few times (It's those strong music lungs...).  The force required to create these words however, caused some bleeding to occur at a rate that I was not expecting to see.  As the doctor and nurses worked to get the bleeding to stop, the doctor explained what was going on.  It was not an emergency situation yet, but he asked Wayne if he was scared, and Wayne just shrugged his shoulders.  And, so did I.  This was not a time to panic, but to just pray and rest in God.  We both felt at peace.  The bleeding did slow, but we will wait for more healing to occur before trying the speaking valve again.

This journey is not easy, and my heart hurts sometimes.  I am tired and weary at moments, however each and every moment is precious and there are blessings in them.  I pray that you see the hope that always abounds, the blessings that are always there, and the tender comfort that is there, holding up, lifting you up, and creating peace.

Reflection Verses:

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.  By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. Hebrews 11:1-3 NIV

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV