Saturday, December 28, 2013

My Turn

My Turn

My husband is a wonderful care taker.  He does the heavy lifting, spider and bug swatting, and handy man things around the house.  He also fills my truck with gas, cooks meals, grocery shops, drives me in the snow, and helps me with my computer.  Wayne also listens to me, prays with me, gives me loving but truthful advice, and keeps me grounded.  He makes me tea and coffee, rubs my neck, and takes over at home so I can take a nap.  We take turns getting our son ready for bed, reading books, doing homework, and playing games with him.  And, he doesn't complain.  Wow... I might be spoiled.  

I will continue praying to and praising God AND....

It is my turn now for other things.  I will also ...  wash my husband's hair, make him tea, cover him with a blanket, cook meals, wash dishes, rub his back, and listen.  I will shovel the sidewalk, put gas in the car and brush snow off of it, and navigate icy roads.  I will be his chauffeur, cheer team, prayer warrior, and advocate.  I will do paperwork and ask questions, some of them being hard questions.  I will organize and call insurance companies.  I will work at my job.  I will swat away complaints, because each day is a gift.  I will press on.

If I don't know how to do something, I will ask and learn.  If Wayne wants to do something himself, I will also let him do it, and support his choices and decisions.

It is my honor and privilege to take care of my husband.  He is precious to me and I hope that he knows that I will do whatever he needs to be comfortable so that he can heal and feel better.  I do not want him to worry about things in the home getting done, bills that need to be paid, groceries that need to be bought, or people to be called.  I want him to continue on being a follower of Christ, to focus on being a father and husband, to be able to work and share his love of music, and to share his story of hope with others.

I am not superwoman in any way and quite frankly, I am very exhausted at times.  Our son gave his 'Dadda' an Easy Button for Christmas, and I sometimes wish I could really push a button and make this easy.  I know you are praying for us and many of you are also serving and helping us.  Thank you so much.  You have helped me learn my new roles and tasks, as well as lightening our load.

Reflection Verses:

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, (Ephesians 6:7 NIV)

There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.  A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. (1 Corinthians 12:5-7 NLT)

“You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. (John 13:13-17 NIV)

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

The song "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" dates back to the 15th century and the author is unknown.  I have found myself singing this song during this season of Christmas and season of life.

Please read the lyrics and reflect on what they truly mean.  Jesus came to SAVE us, and that needs to be celebrated.  It is comforting and joyous to be living in the promises of God, sent to us through Jesus, and felt by the Holy Spirit.

God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

In Bethlehem, in Israel,
This blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

From God our Heavenly Father
A blessed Angel came;
And unto certain Shepherds
Brought tidings of the same:
How that in Bethlehem was born
The Son of God by Name.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

"Fear not then," said the Angel,
"Let nothing you affright,
This day is born a Saviour
Of a pure Virgin bright,
To free all those who trust in Him
From Satan's power and might."
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

The shepherds at those tidings
Rejoiced much in mind,
And left their flocks a-feeding
In tempest, storm and wind:
And went to Bethlehem straightway
The Son of God to find.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

And when they came to Bethlehem
Where our dear Saviour lay,
They found Him in a manger,
Where oxen feed on hay;
His Mother Mary kneeling down,
Unto the Lord did pray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All other doth deface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

Reflection Verses:

“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”). (Matthew 1:23 NIV)

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ... “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” (Luke 2:10, 11, 14 NIV)

Thursday, December 19, 2013

3 Weeks Ago

3 Weeks Ago

How quickly things can change in a short period of time.

3 weeks ago:
...Was a Monday, 12/2/13.  Wayne had a guitar lesson.  
The next day Tuesday, was a day of severe back pain (a level 10) that caused a call to the doctor.  
Wednesday was the appointment where blood tests took place.  
Thursday an x-ray and ultrasound.  Thursday night, called to come back in for a cat scan on an enlarged liver.
Friday-cat scan.
Saturday and Sunday- waiting, Church, family time.

2 weeks ago:
Monday-doctor called in morning.  "We need to see you."---Masses
Tuesday-feeling heartsick and broken
Wednesday-walking around numb
Thursday-my husband conducts a concert
Friday-liver biopsy and chest cat scan
Saturday-family pictures bring some light to the heaviness
Sunday-a powerful God-led Church service of tears and prayer and renewed Hope

1 week ago:
Monday- it is given a name: Cancer. A plan is made.  Blood transfusion.  Consult with colon guy.
Wednesday-preop for Mediport 
Friday-Mediport implant surgery
Saturday and Sunday- rest and recuperate, feeling blessed

Monday-the 1st Chemotherapy treatment begins, and will occur for several days every 2 weeks.  Let's beat this thing!

God is the ultimate Healer and Physician.  He created man to also create, in accordance with His Will and Purpose for each unique individual.  Thank you God!  Thank you also for medicine, technology, people that use the gifts You have given them, and for your never ending Love.  I love You.

Reflection Verses:

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26 NIV)

For no word from God will ever fail.” (Luke 1:37 NIV)

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 NIV)

Read the Brochure

Read the Brochure

We have received A LOT of paperwork over the past 2 weeks.  Words, words, and more words.  My husband has to fill out forms and sign papers for every test, procedure, and copay every time something is done.  Some of the forms are the same as we go from doctor to doctor and similar checklists are gone through.  I think we have them memorized ...  the answers usually are no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, iron, no, no, no, no, Monday.

I, myself, have been trying to read up on insurance info, emailing people with updates and needs, and trying to get copies of reports.  We decided that we need an expandable file folder to carry around with us.

My husband is experiencing tests and procedures that are completely new to us, and we are learning a lot.  He is getting a Mediport tomorrow.  It is an interesting little device that is implanted under the skin of his chest and connected to a vein for infusions, transfusions, and to draw blood.  It allows for ease of access, and he won't need to be poked with IVs and needles every time he needs something done.  What an interesting little piece of technology!

There are little brochures that come with the Mediport.  And, yes, I did read them.  I like to read the directions for things (like the vacuum cleaner, the dishwasher, car seats, etc.), which I know is not the norm for many people.  The brochures talked about how he will have to carry a card with him, to show what kind of Mediport he has implanted.  This information is for the doctors and nurses that access it.  The brochures also said he might set off metal detectors.  That brought a little smile to my face.  I pictured ourselves going to an airport and testing this out to see if it would happen.  (I have only flown on an airplane when I married Wayne, so we don't frequent airports.)   I can picture him getting scanned with the security wand and setting it off.  Good thing I read the brochure and know we should carry the card.

While all this reading is just knowledge/information, it is my hope that I also gain wisdom in these experiences.  

Please pray for the doctors preforming this surgery, the implementation of it, and for the care of this "gadget" as time goes on.

Reflection Verse:

-and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills— Exodus 35:31 NIV

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The C-Word

The C-Word:

Well THE INFORMATION is known.  It has a name. It is colon cancer, metatastic on the liver.

This week is a whirlwind, where we have been tossed upside down and shaken, thrown sideways, and backwards, and have had our heads jumbled with information; information that uses words that I don't always fully understand.  When I am stressed, I don't hear as well, so I ask questions A LOT, repeat what I hear, and write it down.  This is something that I can manage. . . I am a "details-person".   

The introvert has been locked up (and keeps knocking at the door), and I am becoming bolder, because I need to know things, and I need to ask for them.  It is hard to ask for and accept help.  We are used to just doing things on our own because we are admittedly a little stubborn (and for me - introverted).  I am a little overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from people, but I am so grateful for you.  Your prayers have comforted me, your tears have empathized with me, your encouragements have uplifted me, your hugs have warmed me, and we are finding some peace in this new journey of life.

There has been a blood transfusion, a colonoscopy, and a preop appointment already this week.  And, a mediport implantation is coming up within the next day or so.  Chemotherapy starts on Monday, along with a home nurse support the day(s) after.  Things will settle into a routine soon.  There are a lot of new experiences taking place, something I will write about in a future post.  We will have Christmas together, and it will be a blessed one, like always.  Happy Birthday, Jesus!

I pray the people we interact with on this journey are meant to cross paths with us.  I know we can be light to others among this difficult journey.  I won't be perfect, I will falter, I will struggle, but I KNOW God is holding us up.

Writing has become my creative emotional outlet.   It is my way to communicate, and reflect, and it is really just my thoughts.  I started my blogging not to get feedback from you, but as a way to have a creative outlet for what I am feeling, how I can be at peace, and to connect to life the way God wants and needs me to.  So, if you are a reader of my blog posts, thank you for joining in with me.  

While there is no known cure for cancer, there are treatments, and there is hope.  There is healing.  I also believe in miracles.  We are standing on the promises of God.  My husband wants to run again.  He wants to live life.  He (We) wants to show others that God IS good.  We are persevering.  

Love to you all...
For those of you that don't see my husband's blogging, here is an excerpt of the latest post:

In the meantime...

I will not lie to you.  If you ask me how I'm doing - be prepared for an honest answer.
I will keep teaching; and learning; and playing when I can.  Music is God's gift to me.  He will use it to lift me up, and use me to glorify him with my talent.
I am still me.  Please treat me that way.  I am not a debilitated, withering soul.

I also don't want you, readers, to say...

"I'm sorry."  Because I may ask you what you did to cause my cancer.  Don't be sorry.
"How awful."  Maybe.  But I don't want negativity around me.
"Why you?"  W e l l . . . if not me, then who would you wish it on? 
"Cancer sucks."  Maybe.  But I don't want negativity around me.
(I think you get the picture).

Those things may be true to you, but I am refusing to look at it that way.  Am I in pain?  Yes.  Am I scared.  A little.  I understand you all cope with these things in different ways.  But I am using it to God's glory, somehow. 

For more, go to his blog at

Reflection Verses:

In all these things we are more than conquerors though Him who loved us. Romans 8:37 NIV

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Psalm 119:114 NIV

Psalm 121:3, "He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber ..." (NIV)

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Passion & Compassion

Passion & Compassion

The Church that we attend has the mission statement of "Passion for God; Compassion for Others".

And, we sure felt that today.  I couldn't hold back my tears, as people greeted and comforted us with smiles, hugs, and support, as we entered Church.  (I am sorry if my tears dripped on you.)  I felt your compassion.  The songs that were sung, the prayers said, the message given, felt chosen for us to specifically hear.  I couldn't bring my voice to produce sound, but thank you for those words, those songs, I heard them.  God is using you to bless and share your gifts.

Wayne gave a testimony.  He spoke to you, and to me.  He reminded us that God is good.  We prayed together.  As we stood and prayed, with your hands connected to us, I felt God's love, your passion for Him, your agreement in prayer, and your compassion.

I feel that I cannot adequately express my gratitude to you from Church, to those at work, friends near and from a far, and family, that have shown such compassion and love towards us.  It is my hope that you can see a glimpse of such gratitude as I write to you here.

Tomorrow is the day of new information.  I feel that I can face it better knowing that ultimately Jesus is carrying this burden, but that you too, are walking along with us, providing that support. Your prayers, snow plowing, meals, babysitting, help with work, words, hugs, and compassion are so incredibly powerful and helpful.  We love you too.

Reflection Verses:

The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. (Psalm 145:8-9 NIV)

Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ and a brother of James, To those who have been called, who are loved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ: Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance. (Jude 1:1-2 NIV)

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

Saturday, December 14, 2013

A Little Bit of Laughter

A Little Bit of Laughter

A family friend, a brother in Christ, came over to take some family pictures for us today.  We had some taken in front of the fireplace and others of us on a favorite large chair in our home.

During the photo session, the photographer squeaked his nose to make my son laugh and smile... It sounded just like a dog toy...a different technique than the "toy on head" or "stuffed animal" tricks that I have seen before.   I was so surprised myself by the noise that I laughed too.  The kind of laugh that carried throughout my belly and chest. 

Boy, did that laugh feel good.  I'm still smiling about it.  We had fun... And that is good medicine too.  I am looking forward to seeing the finished pictures, seeing the joy.

Reflection Verses:

He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. (Job 8:21 NLT)

Shout for joy to God, all the earth! (Psalm 66:1 NIV)

Friday, December 13, 2013

Shaking and Heart Pounding

Shaking, Heart Pounding

I have moments of intense sobbing.  I try to cry in private, but tears do leak out.  My right eye has started twitching and I feel naseous.  My sleeves have become tissues.  I am shaky and feel weak.  I feel as if I cannot eat anything that requires chewing.  My heart pounds in my chest.  My back and neck ache from clenching my teeth and hunching over in sobs.  Exhaustion.

When people ask me how I am, I struggle to say "I am okay", because it feels like a lie.  I feel like I have failed, am failing, because I am struggling to be at peace, struggling to cope, just struggling.  My prayers are sobs, anguish, and overwhelming.  I feel like I am begging.  I am an emotional person.  We do not have a name yet to what is causing my husband's pain and discomfort, but I love him so deeply that my heart aches at the thought that something is wrong.  (I do appreciate your love, concern, and support.  We still need and want that, so please don't stop asking.)

Yet I press on.  I try a smile on my face, try making a lame joke to cheer myself up, and put one foot down at time.  Time seems to slow down where I feel every step I take, along with the effort required to take that step.  Sometimes, I feel this bubble around me, while others carry on, and I am just treading water.   Waiting for an answer.  Waiting.

Yet, my husband who is the one that is in distress, is graceful, beautiful, calm, and reflective.  He is amazing to me.  He conducted a band concert last night.  It was beautiful.  He was beautiful.  Those kids look up to him.  I loved watching him on stage and listening to his "audience humor".  My son bounced in the seat to the music.  I saw some of you prayer warriors in the audience too.  I had some sitting near me as well.  Thank you.

Even though it is hard, I am taking one day at a time.  I am.  I do have Hope.  I need guidance in this situation even though I don't know why it is happening.  I am also praying - for healing, strength, discernment, a clear mind.  God's love and power is present.   We are not carrying this load alone.

I am finding some bits of moments of peace.  Each day IS a gift.  My husband feels discomforts and emotions too and I want your prayers on and for him. God is carrying us, and my love of Him, my husband, my family, gets me out of my bed to press on towards another day.

We are thankful knowing that you are praying for us; that we have another day of breath, of life; and that God does provide.

Today is a sedated biopsy where more information is evaluated.  Please also pray during these procedures.  Follow up is on Monday.
J.B. a friend of ours, and a person that writes in ways that deeply connect, recently posted this:  

Will you join us in prayer?

As many of our past RFG'rs {Run for God} may recall our leaders this past spring (2013) were struggling with health related issues preventing them from being able to participate to the extent they would have liked.

Wayne Burlison, in particular as you may recall was having fatigue/endurance issues, forcing him, to his credit, and to God's glory to finish on his bicycle. Some recent developments have come to light which beckon him and his family to be raised up to God in fervent prayer.

After months of recent arduous back pain Wayne went to see his doctor just this past week, at which time X-rays and a CT scan revealed the pain is being caused by "masses" on his liver putting pressure on other organs/his back etc., also masses have been found on his colon as well. He has a biopsy scheduled for later this week and will be meeting with an oncologist Monday to plan a course of action based on the results.

I would ask you to lovingly forward this to as many prayer warriors as you feel led....

"Dear Heavenly Father we call on your Holy Spirit at work in Wayne to bring his body mind and soul to complete glorious restoration, these "masses" be miraculously absent from his body. We offer praises for the inspiration of the Godly man that Wayne is and all the lives he has, is, and WILL effect and I ask you to honor him and protect him and his family as you said you would, in this moment, as well as in the days, weeks, months and years to come.  Lord please surround them with nothing but edifying hope filled righteous people, keep the evil one, negativity and darkness from EVER darkening his doorstep! In Jesus holy name we trust you will use this experience to your glory and honor, and ask for strength to do your will through out."

NOW is our time to lift him up ...

Reflection verses:

... Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord... (Lamentations 2:19 NLT).
Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.. (Psalm 33:22 NLT)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him.  (Romans 15:13 NIV)

And, again:

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him, (Nahum 1:7 NIV)

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:19, 20 NIV)

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, (Psalms 103:2-4 NIV)

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.. (Psalm 33:11 NIV)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

His Will, We Will, I Will

His Will, We Will, I Will

My husband is a beautiful person - calm, reflective, loving, and he simply enriches my life.  If you know him, I am sure you feel the same.

We returned for the follow-up after the cat scan.  Words are spoken - large masses, swollen lymph nodes, low red blood cells, liver and colon, oncology.  Words that combined together are frightening. 

I sobbed, and am still crying.  My heart is breaking. My love, my heart, is sick.  I am the broken one, it cannot, should not, be him.  He is 36 years old.  We need him - a husband, a father, a friend. 

I have seen God use my husband and I know that He still has plans for him.  God did not cause this, but He will walk with us and guide us.  

I cannot fix this problem myself, but I can and will pray.  We will pray for complete healing, we will pray for strength, we will pray for discernment and paths to follow, We will love and appreciate each day and moment that we have.

I also will let people help us, and not be afraid to ask.  I will make memories, and I will cry.  I will continue to stand by my husband all of the time.

My husband wants to carry on with the every day things, which I respect.  There is still work to be done and lives to be touched, to do God's Will.  There is so much to appreciate and celebrate, not in just the big moments, but the small ones.  At work, at home, and everywhere.  What you see is what you get when you meet my husband - a warm, caring, gently honest, God loving man.

I am inspired by him, but I am also afraid, worried, and my heart hurts.  I cannot seem to grasp my emotions, and I am very sad.  So, please, I beg you, LOVE the people around you, show compassion, and take care of each other.  Celebrate the small moments too.  God is with you and us through all of this.  I also thank you for the hugs and support too.  Your kind words mean a lot and your prayers are precious to us.  Please keep doing all of these.  It is my hope that you will join in with us in prayer.

Reflection Verses:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.  We do not want you to be uninformed,brothers and sisters,[a] about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia.We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. (II Corinthians 1:3-11 NIV)

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him, (Nahum 1:7 NIV)

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:19, 20 NIV)

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, (Psalms 103:2-4 NIV)

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.. (Psalm 33:11 NIV)

Crying at the Christmas Cards

Crying at the Christmas Cards

Some lovely friends offered to babysit so that my husband and I could go shopping for stocking stuffers and have a little date.  Very rarely do we have a date with just the two of us. 

I have to say that I treasured every moment with my love.  I held his hand or arm, I looked him in the eyes, and we just talked.  When we shopped for stocking stuffers for each other, we tried to hide from each other in the store, so that we wouldn't see what the other was getting.  I decided to start at the card aisle.  We have a tradition where we buy cards for each other and then we place them on the tree for Christmas morning.  Looking at the cards (and their prices), I couldn't bring myself to buy a $12 card, but I was looking for a "just right" message.

Even though I write here, I still have trouble finding the words to tell my family so how I deeply love them.  As I read through the "husband", "love", and "romance" cards, I found myself tearing up.  So many of them express what I want to say to him, but I want more.  More words, more dates, more memories, more time together, more hand holding, more snuggles on the couch, more time in prayer, just more ... 

So, I did "settle" on a card.  But, I am using more words in person.  I am saying "I love you" more.  I even kissed my husband in public.  Yep, and I don't care who saw me.

God provides, and I cherish every moment with the gifts of the family that He has given me.  I am thankful that God knows what we need and gives us immeasurably more.

Reflection verses:

"20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his powerthat is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV

Prayer and Perseverance

Prayer and Perseverance

My husband lost about 140 pounds 7 years ago, has run a marathon, and has changed his eating patterns.  He has never broken a bone, has never been in the hospital (other than being born), and has never had a medical exam, other than periodic physicals and blood work.  Until now.  

My husband started having back pain about 1 1/2 months ago.  He tried massage therapy, but continued to feel a constant pain.  Then, his stomach started to hurt.  After an intense day of pain, he went to the doctor.  

I am thinking hernia, gallstones, ulcer... After an ultrasound is done, the phone rings later in the day.  

You have an enlarged liver and we need to do more tests.  

My heart broke, and I sobbed.  That is scary and frightening to me.  My husband remained calm.   That is who he is - calm, reflective, and accepting.  While, I on the other-hand, fell apart.  I am so sorry ... I cannot keep it together.  My husband is one of my loves, and I don't want to see him suffer or be in pain.

So, for those of you that have listened and talked and encouraged, cried with us, gave a hug, lent a helping hand, and are praying.  Thank you.  Please continue.  We are still waiting for test results, but my husband's overall pain has decreased greatly (without medication).  We are living life and appreciating it.  

God is answering your prayers, so thank you for lifting him up.  God is good.  All the time.  God is with us and with you too.


My husband wrote in his own blog:
People have asked what they can do for me (us) already.  Again - I'm not incapacitated.  If I need help, I won't be afraid to ask.  But if you are reading this, friends, and you pray, please pray....

That [my family is] comforted.  That we and the doctors can make the right decisions, and that I can be used to show the glory of God, even through pain, and hardship.  That I make it less about me, and more about others.


Reflection Verse: "And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:2-4 NIV).