Thursday, January 9, 2014

Bystander

Bystander

The smell of my food nauseates him, and so I eat separated.  Noise is too loud.  Touch hurts.  Nausea prevents eating.  The lights are too bright.  I walk and move gently, and whisper, keeping the lights and TV low.  I pray.  Pray that the chemo works, pray for pain management, pray for comfort, pray that I can be of service.  

I feel helpless watching my husband suffer through the side effects of treatments.  It is hard to see his strong, peaceful, calm, demeanor interrupted.  I desire to see that light that he shares with others, but instead he is in pain and tired.  I understand that this suffering is so that things can get better, but it is not easy to watch.

I am sure you have experience with suffering... whether it is your own, or about someone or a situation, that you love and care deeply about.

Jesus suffered for a greater purpose, but I think of how Mary and others that loved Jesus, witnessed His suffering on the cross, forced to be bystanders, unable to help.  How it must have broken their hearts to see such pain inflicted on a Loved One.

While I too feel like a bystander during these treatments to eradicate the cancer, I know that God is NOT a bystander.  He already knows the plan, and will guide us to it.

Good will come.  Purposes will be fulfilled.

Reflection Verses:

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18 NIV)

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV)

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