My husband is a beautiful person - calm, reflective, loving, and he simply enriches my life. If you know him, I am sure you feel the same.
We returned for the follow-up after the cat scan. Words are spoken - large masses, swollen lymph nodes, low red blood cells, liver and colon, oncology. Words that combined together are frightening.
I sobbed, and am still crying. My heart is breaking. My love, my heart, is sick. I am the broken one, it cannot, should not, be him. He is 36 years old. We need him - a husband, a father, a friend.
I have seen God use my husband and I know that He still has plans for him. God did not cause this, but He will walk with us and guide us.
I cannot fix this problem myself, but I can and will pray. We will pray for complete healing, we will pray for strength, we will pray for discernment and paths to follow, We will love and appreciate each day and moment that we have.
I also will let people help us, and not be afraid to ask. I will make memories, and I will cry. I will continue to stand by my husband all of the time.
My husband wants to carry on with the every day things, which I respect. There is still work to be done and lives to be touched, to do God's Will. There is so much to appreciate and celebrate, not in just the big moments, but the small ones. At work, at home, and everywhere. What you see is what you get when you meet my husband - a warm, caring, gently honest, God loving man.
I am inspired by him, but I am also afraid, worried, and my heart hurts. I cannot seem to grasp my emotions, and I am very sad. So, please, I beg you, LOVE the people around you, show compassion, and take care of each other. Celebrate the small moments too. God is with you and us through all of this. I also thank you for the hugs and support too. Your kind words mean a lot and your prayers are precious to us. Please keep doing all of these. It is my hope that you will join in with us in prayer.
Reflection Verses:
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. 8 We do not want you to be uninformed,brothers and sisters,[a] about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia.We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. (II Corinthians 1:3-11 NIV)
The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him, (Nahum 1:7 NIV)
19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:19, 20 NIV)
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, (Psalms 103:2-4 NIV)
But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.. (Psalm 33:11 NIV)
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